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Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
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i havent really updated in what seems like a year, but since i am feeling in the mood to write in a journal i guess i will. i havent been too happy the past 2 days, i kinda learned something this weekend that put me a little down. actually more than a little, of course im pretty good at "being happy" and right now i just wanna keep my mind off of this unhappy thoguht. well anyways thats all i really wanted to put down. buh bye.
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Thursday, February 5th, 2004
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i havent updated in what seems to be like decades, so i guess i will put a little updizzle in here.
i have been doing good, and working alot, i guess id ont have too m any friends anymore, but thats ok, i am perfectly content with the ones that i have, i have been hanging out with grant and jared alot, and dan and erik, but thats about it. i think im starting to kinda fall for someone i am not supposed, to but thats ok, im sure it will pass, just like it alway does. i havent really seen christina in a while, i would like to tho.the only bad thing about me right now probably is that i am back to smoking weed, but its not even that bad, because i always go to work, i show up on time, i dont fuck up, i still have friends, and actually i have gained back some more friends i guess by starting up, none of that justifies it, but i dont care, i just lke to be stoned, i probably wont ever be able to stop, so i dont know. i spend alot of time at jareds, house, he finally got a new car, its a red nissan pathfinder, gotta stick with the nissan, cant go back on the max B^). as of late, its kinda hard for me to be that interested in girls, i think for once in my life im realizing that there is more to life that getting stoned getting drunk, and attempting to get pussy. (the reason i put attempting is because i was never really that good at it.) wow this entry is all just kinda coming out so easily, i dont even have to think about what im writing. well i dont know if tahts a good thing. my mom and i are getting along great, and i love it, i really feel bad for my dad tho, each day i see him its just like he got so fucked, but not like me in the beginning of my life where i fucked up big. but he fucked up big in the later years of his life, and he cant ever really go back, or start over. but my dad and i talk alot now, and us both working at the mens wearhouse, gives us at least something in common to talk abnout, so that makes me happy. i like when my dads happy. i think i will take him out to dinner soon. i wish i could take both of my parents out to dinner at the same time, that would be nice, but they would just get in a huge arguement like they always do whenever they are in the same room together, i know i probably shouildnt be bitching about this, since i know alot of other people who have it worse off than i do, but to me this was pretty bad, it brought my wanting to live down pretty far, so that sucked, but im over it now, anyways this ia a long enough entry, so i think im going to go.
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Monday, January 5th, 2004
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| Time: | 11:04 am. |
| Mood: |  cheerful. | | Music: | this is side one...flip me over.. |
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| <table border='1' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='2' align='center'><form action='http://memegen.deskslave.org/viewmeme.pl?un=spiralinghalo&meme=1062188455' method='POST'><tr><th colspan=2 bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#DDDD88'>What is your emo band name? by <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/spiralinghalo'><font color='#DDDD88'>spiralinghalo</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your band name is:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Rainy Day Realty</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>You sound like:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>The Cure</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>You will be signed to:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>Dying Wish Records</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Your emo lyrics are:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'>"Slit my wrists until I can see the stars"</font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor='#000000'><font color='#FFFFFF'>Name:</font></td><td bgcolor='#DDDDAA'><font color='#000000'><input type='text' name='Name:' value='dupheroonie' size='20'></font></td></tr><input type='hidden' name='un' value='spiralinghalo'><input type='hidden' name='meme' value='1062188455'><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><input type='submit' value='Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!'></td></tr><tr><td colspan=2 align='center' bgcolor='#000000'><font size='-1' color='#FFFFFF'>Created with <a href='http://www.livejournal.com/users/quill18/'><img src='http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' style='vertical-align:bottom;border:0;'><font color='#DDDD88'>quill18</font></a>'s <a href='http://memegen.deskslave.org/'><font color='#DDDD88'>MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> |
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
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deaf dumb and blind boy, hes in a quiet vibrations land
strange as it seems, his musical dreams aint quite so bad
10 years old, with thoughts as bold as thuoghts can be
loving life, and becoming wise in simplicity
sickness will surely take the mind, where minds cant usually go,
come on the amazing journey and learn all you should know
the faint haze of delirium creaps up on me
all at once a tall stranger i certainly see
hes dressed in a silver sparked glittering gown
and his golden beard glows nearly down to the ground
nothing to say, nothing to hear, nothing to see
each sensation makes a note like symphony
sickness will surely take the mind where minds cant usually go
come on the amazing journey and learn all you should know
these eyes are the eyes that transmit all i know
sparkle on crystal, and glances to show
hes your leader, hes your type
on the amazing journey
together youll lie...
*sparks*
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| Time: | 11:52 pm. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | amazing journey. |
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havent updated in a while, but i guess i will today, ive been really busy i guess you could call it, nothing really interesting has happened. its my dads birthday on friday, im gonna get him a new car stereo, i hope he likes it. uhmmm, i raellu dont have anything to say, except ive been listening to the who a lot lately, and they are really good. i like rock :-D. it is pretty damn good. plus at work all day we listen to the classic rock station, so ive been listening to it a whole lot more, i dont even really listen to anything else anymore...unless im with jared, then i listen to whatever he has in his car. anyways i missed the OC tonight, that sucks, itll be on tomorrow tho, and i dont have work, so ill watch it then. ok thats all i have to say, i guess this is an update.
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Sunday, November 16th, 2003
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wellllllllllllllllllll, this is an updizzle for shizzle. i got a job, ive been working there for the past 6 days. i like it, its alot of fun, im the youngest one there by about 3 years, but its all good. all the people i work with are real nice, and i like nice people, so thats good. this weekend i stayed up too late, and didnt get enough sleep, and i need to, cuz i always work in the morning until niiiiiiiiiiiiiiight time. and my legs get real tired. i havent been going online too much, so i dont get to talk to my AIM buddies anymore, and i dont like not talking to my AIM buddies, but ill have days off, in which ill just lounge around all day and do nothing, since ill probably be too tired. disney land. i want to go there. i saw christina this weekend, that was fun. and then we were gonna hang out with her tonight, but she didnt show up, so that wasnt fun. i was sad. but its ok...i think ill forgive her:). well i dont really have much of anything else to say. so yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. jen you should update too!
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Thursday, November 13th, 2003
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| Time: | 12:16 am. |
| Mood: | not happy. | | Music: | blink one hundred and eighty two. |
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i guess i kinda fucked up. im sorry.
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Monday, November 10th, 2003
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| Time: | 1:47 pm. |
| Mood: |  happy. | | Music: | blink 182. |
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holler back at that nigs.
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| Time: | 12:10 am. |
| Mood: |  confused. | | Music: | blink.. |
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This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
I'm so lost
I'm barely here
I wish I could explain myself
But words escape me
It's too late
To save me
You're too late
You're too late
You're cold with disappointment
While I'm drowning in the next room
The last contagious victim of this plague between us
I'm sick with apprehension
I'm crippled from exhaustion
And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me
This is the first (thing I remember)
Now it's the last (thing left on my mind)
Afraid of the dark (do you hear me whisper)
An empty heart (replaced with paranoia)
Where do we go (life's temporary)
After we're gone (like new years resolutions)
Why is this hard (do you recognize me)
I know I'm wrong (but I can't help believing)
i like blink 182. they aer good. hrmmm, i updated earlier today, but i was pretty drunk, so i didnt feel like typing much. i dont like the amount of sadness in this world. it seems like it was a pretty sad weekend this weekend. i got sad...mostly because i was boreder than shit, but sad none the less. and my friend julian got pretty hella sad, he lost his wallet, and alot of other stuff that im not gonig to talk about, and then christina got sad, more sad then usual it seems, and i have no idea why. THEN just when i thought i was about to go home, and go to sleep on this sunday night, ready to kind of end this not so happy weekend, jared tells me hes sad, and then i was jst like, i dont think this can get any worse. i dont like this. there has to be something in life that makes people happy...other than this so called love thing, cuz aside from the wallet incident, and my boredness, i think that all the other sadness was a product of them thinking that they cant be happy without someone to "love"....even tho they have friends that love them hella. and will never stop loving them, cuz you cant break up with a friend, and i guess my friends can ditch me and shit, but if they ever need me, id try and be for them still, and i wont just stop loving my friends...but yeah, i guess thats my entry. i really like that blink song.
"...holly let me out..."
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Sunday, November 9th, 2003
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| Time: | 5:51 pm. |
| Music: | i miss you - blink 182. |
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well its sunday, and the chargers won. wooooooooooo! im at jareds house, and hes hanging out with kat, so im really bored. and lauren wanted me to update my journal, so i am. the new blink cd is pretty hella. im really glad cuz my life is going pretty good right now. for once in my life im not really thinking about girls. i just kinda wanna have friends, and so im just working at that. and its nice cuz i have a few people i can really talk to, and just tell them anything without worrying about them thinking im stupid, cuz i think alot of the stuff that i worry about is stupid, but my friends really seem to care, and i like it. once again im worried about christina cuz i think she is really sad again, but she told me not to worry, so i wont say anything else about it. but thats all i really have to say. so im gonna go talk online ,lates nigs.
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Friday, November 7th, 2003
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| Time: | 3:04 pm. |
| Mood: | happy. | | Music: | third eye blind. |
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i like having friends :-D. especially ones who can call me john.:-P.
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
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Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
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| Time: | 11:47 pm. |
| Mood: | tired. | | Music: | third eye blind. |
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hello people. jared said i should update. so i am doing so. that mutherfucker got me into that show "The OC" and now i wanna watch it alot, i wish it was on more often. i havent had a cigarette in 3 days. its horrible. i want one really really really bad. i dont really know what to write. i am starting my job next week, 9 dollars an hour, wha!? and also my dad is teaching me how to drive, and hes gonna take me to go get my liscence or however you spell it, but hes taking me soon to get it anyways. i wish that i felt motivated, but i just dont care. i want to get my drivers thing so i can drive aroud, and i want the job so i can have money, and i dont have to spend long periods of time without cigarettes, and if i get my drivers thing, itll even prove im 18, and i could buy them, so im killing two birds with one stone there. anyways thats about all thats happened in the past 2 days. i have a boring life. bye.
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Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
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| Time: | 9:00 am. |
| Mood: |  irritated. | | Music: | taking back sunday. |
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Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable...ohoh
Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means
You never knew
well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
that you always had it way too easy
Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friend thinks I pulled the trigger!!!
Best friend thinks you get what you deserve!!!
holller bacccccccck.
ive been having weird dreams lately. its weird stuff. yeah. andi dont know what to make of them. i also have been having weird feelings lately. like kind of feelings of hate or something like that. like i hate people. but i dont think i hate them. i dontknow. fuck. ok. bye.
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Monday, November 3rd, 2003
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hrmmmm. this was a weird weekend i thoguht. but oh well. on friday we went to coronado for like 2 minutes. aand then drove bck to el cajon and just sat at jareds house. it was not too fun i didnt think. but thats ok. on saturday night me jared julian and christina got drunk, and i passed out at like 900. i didnt like that. i wish i had stayed up later. but i guess its ok. then on sunday jared and i didnt do anything. we just watched the game, and then watched tv. and then he had kat over so i just kinda sat on the computer and did nothing. and then his dad came home and found out we were drinking. and he told jared that i cant go back to his house. that sucks. i like going to jareds house. but i guess i cant go there anymore. now i wonder if ill get to hang out with christina or not...well ill prolly hang out with her. but not as much since on the weekends jared and i were just down the street, and now i wont be allowed there anymore:-(. not fun. anyways im just really bored. and i am having a sad day. i am trying not to get too sad tho. for some reason its very hard. i cant get alot of shit off of my mind. its gay. im giong to go now. bye.
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Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
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| Time: | 5:30 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. | | Music: | fell me flow.naughty by nature.. |
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last night was weird. that is all i really have to say. and julian or christina. i still dont believe you. :-D. nigs. okie, i updated. lates.
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Friday, October 31st, 2003
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| Time: | 9:33 am. |
| Mood: |  weird. | | Music: | all american rejects. |
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today is halloween. i have no idea what im going to be doing. yesterday i hung out with jared and christina all day. it was fun. well i had fun at least. and then last night jared didnt want to hang out with us:(. so me and christina just listened to rap songs all night. holler. she is really funny when she is being "ghetto" hahaha. she like does all the hand movements when she raps and stuff. its pretty hillarious. i like the song "get low" its raelly funny. and i heard this song ive never heard before called "wrap sumden" and song is really cool. i think its a duph song. cuz all it talks about is marijuana. we also listened to NWAA, and i felt pretty gangsta. and then thats about all i have to say about that. word.
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Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
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i am at jareds house right now. there is nothing to do. jared is watching basketball and in 20 minutes he wants to watch the OC. i likes to watch a lot of tv. it is weird. anyways today i went with jared christina and melinda and we went to horton plaza, thrift store, and in and out, and then we went back to jareds, and then jared and i played madden while christina watched. then she went home and said she was gonna come back when we called her, but now we called her and she aint pickin up her phone. so we watched the all american rejects on the television. oh yeah, we also went to mcdonalds before that. it was good. anyawys im just really really bored. so im gonna write a bunch of stuff. halloween is in like 2 days, and i dont really know what im going to do. jared wants to get fucked up, but i dont want to, i just wanna kinda chill and be not fucked up. and jared doesnt want to ride bikes, but i want to ride bikes because it is fun. and christina said she wants to ride bikes. so jared threatened to not hang out with us. but i think he will. he doesnt even want to dress up, he just wants to get drunk and do nothing i guess. i dont know. also the sky was clear today. i liked it. i could actually see blue skies and feel the sun. it was a very nice feeling that i had not felt in a couple of days. well thats all i really have to say.
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Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
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| Time: | 9:07 am. |
| Mood: | confused. | | Music: | ataris.. |
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ive been at jareds hosue for the past couple of days, last night i came home. it was nice to sleep in my own bed. i dont raelly wanna talk about what happened this weekend too much, cuz alot of stuff happened, andi dont want to write it all down. so ill put down the parts that were fun. on friday i went to the arcade with christina and jared, and we had lots of fun, it was definitly a good time. we won prizes with all the tickets that we ended up egtting. and then we went back to jareds and christina chilled with us till she had to pick up her brother. and then on saturday we hung out with jen and christina, and that was fun. jen is cool. i feel b ad tho, cuz her glasses broke, but i guess they look really thug life now with all the yellow tape thats on them and all. we saw texas chainsaw massacre, after we played like laods of basketball and did nothing and went to in and out, not in that particular oprder, but tahts what we did. and then we came back to jareds, and jen went home, and jared and christina watched movies, and i sat online. then on sunday we had to wakr up hella early cuz jared thought he was going to san fransisco, so he took me home, and then he came back saying that his flight had been cancelled because of all the fires and stuff. so i went back to his house. but you could like not even breathe, and then we went out and saw all the fires that night, it aws pretty surreal. and then on monday morning the police evacuated jareds area of housing, and so we had to pack up all his shit and leave, only to find out that an hour and a half later he was allowed to go back to his house...gay. anyways i guess its better to be safe than sorry. last night we watched the fucking gay football game. fuckin chargers blow dick sometimes. anyways thats what i have been doing for the last 3 or 4 days. i am very confused about how i feel tho. i dont know what it is, im not asd, but im not happy,and i dont know why, i just feel like im acting kinda different. but i dont think anyone else thinks im acting different. maybe im just being gay. i ended up being pretty gay alot this weekend i think. im sorry. anyways. this is just something that you can read if you are one of the negative 12 million people who read my journal. bye.
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Sunday, October 26th, 2003
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no sex no drugs, no satanism, can you believe. hrmm im listening to SME, i havent heard them in like ages and ages. its a shitty day today. im tired. the sky is like horrid looking. and there is absolutely nothing to do, i dont think that i will have anything to do all day either. but i guess its not that bad, im used to it kinda. it just was nice to be out like all weekend, i liked it. well im at home now and im justkinda updating. also there are alot of fires. i hope that everyone is ok.:-/
i still remember the feeling that i got.
when i, stood by, and watched end, never never again.
you keep around what you dont need...
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Friday, October 24th, 2003
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hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmm this is for my live journal. i am very bored. since i just wrote a bunch in my deadjournal yall should go over and check that one out if you really wanna know how im feeling, all 2 of you that read this. YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. if you read this, youll know its about you. >:o. well i wish i could do something about it. but i cant.
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dupheroonie's journal
want a bong load?>